my grandpa visited me in a dream the morning of the biggest exam of my life

So my grandpa was a Vietnam War veteran. A bomb went off right next to him during the war and it messed up his hearing pretty bad after that.

And I, as a little elementary school kid, used to get SO annoyed at him for it. Like constantly. I was in 4th grade at the time.

That morning was the same as always. I snapped at him before school. And he still walked me to the school bus like he always did.

School ended, I got on the bus home, and when I got off... grandpa wasn't there to pick me up. He was always there. But not that day.

Then my mom called. Said grandpa was sick, he's at the hospital, go stay at your aunt's place for now.

So I went.

My cousin, who's one year older than me, opened the door and said "you heard, right? grandpa..."

And I was like "yeah, mom said he got sick and went to the hospital?"

And then he told me. grandpa had passed away.

I just. my legs gave out. I sank onto the couch right there.

And I just started crying, saying I never got to tell him I loved him. I never said it. I never got to say it.

At the funeral, weirdly, it didn't feel real. I was running around playing tag with my cousins and stuff. Kids, you know.

But the moment it actually hit me? It was later, walking to school holding my grandma's hand. She wiped my runny nose with a handkerchief.

But it was a different handkerchief.

Not the checkered one grandpa always used.

That's when it became real.

Fast forward about 5 years. This past summer, the morning of the most important exam I'd ever taken in my entire life (수능,¹ basically) I had a dream about grandpa for the very first time.

--- dream starts here ---

I was at home and suddenly it got dark outside. I looked out and there was a grim reaper coming.

So I ran to the room where grandpa was lying down. I was going to stop the reaper.

I threw open the door. Grandma was there, sitting beside him, holding his hand. Grandpa was right at the edge. About to go.

And I was supposed to block the reaper. That was the whole plan.

But the second I saw him, I forgot all of that.

I just screamed "I LOVE YOU" at him.

His hearing was bad so I threw both hands up over my head and made a big heart shape too.

And grandpa. without saying a single word. just smiled at me.

And made a heart back.

--- dream ends ---

I took the exam that day. Got my results. Got into the school I wanted.

Grandpa was always the type to brag about his family to literally everyone. If he'd known I got in, he would've been shouting it up and down the whole neighborhood. probably demanded we hang a banner outside. that's just who he was.

I really wish he could've known.

I don't think about him every single day. but sometimes I'll be watching a random YouTube video from 2015 and he just comes back to me.