I was 9 when I begged my parents to pick me up and it killed them

When I was 9, I kept begging my mom and dad to pick me up after academy on Friday so we could go to the department store buffet. My mom kept saying no, absolutely not. But eventually she gave in and they agreed to come get me when I was done.

So my mom, my dad, my older brother, and my older sister. Every single family member except me. They were all coming to pick me up when they got into a car accident. My mom, my dad, and my sister (she was a lot older than me) died right there.

I didn't know any of this was happening. I'd told them it was fine, a friend's mom could give me a ride. And I was just standing there like an idiot, so excited, thinking about what clothes I wanted to buy and what ade I was going to order.

My brother survived. barely. He's only a year or two younger than me, and my mom shielded him at the last second. That's the only reason he made it.

Now it's just the two of us, living with our uncle's family.

They came to get me. They all came to get ME. And that's why they're gone. I carry that with me every single day.

And my brother. he watched it happen. basically watched all of them die right in front of him. But sometimes he'll ask me, like he's trying to be a good older brother, "you don't actually think it's your fault, right?" And I say no.

but it is. it is my fault. and I'm so tired.