my cat got a terminal diagnosis and I cried alone in the library every day

So my cat got a terminal diagnosis...

She's a Scottish Fold, and that breed just has SO many genetic issues. Leg problems, all kinds of stuff. A while back she suddenly couldn't use her legs and I was devastated. Cried so much. But then like a month later she was walking again and I thought okay, we're good, we're past it.

Then about 8 months ago they told me her kidneys are smaller than normal cats. She can't break down food properly. Can't detox her system. And she's only 3 years old. They said she's got maybe 2-3 years left and I just.

It was exam season at the time. I was going to the library every single day and just... crying. Every day. I was looking up "signs a cat is dying" on youtube at midnight. Searching for kidney-friendly foods. The whole spiral.

That's when I learned what sobbing until you can't breathe actually feels like. Like genuinely learned it. I'd come home and there was nobody there and she'd just walk up to me, doing her little slow sway, and I would LOSE IT. Just cry in front of her.

She's on kidney medication every day now. And I talked to my counselor about her, crying the whole time, and she said... make good memories with her while she's still here.

So that's what we're doing. ㅠㅠ