Breaking News Alerts But It's Just Two Friends Meeting Up

Two friends are texting each other in the style of breaking news headlines β and it's absolutely unhinged.
Friend 1 sends: '[EXCLUSIVE] Whereabouts unknown β departed but still no sign of arrival...'
Friend 2 fires back: '[BREAKING] 'I'm on my way, you little $#@!' β profanity erupts'
Then it escalates. Friend 1: '[EXCLUSIVE REPORT 1] 'Don't curse me out, it's a dog-and-bird situation..' β SHOCKING true identity finally revealed!' (a Korean idiom for a total mess/chaotic situation)
Friend 2 closes with: '[BREAKING] 'Almost there' β fierce Round 2 conflict expected, settle the lunch menu before arrival'
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