saw my bf's kakao chat and i'm not okay

So my bf is 30 and I'm 34, been together 4 years.

We've been having some issues lately so things got kinda cold between us and he basically locked himself in his room using "corona" as an excuse and just... played games all day.

Yesterday he fell asleep at his PC mid-game so I went in to get him to bed and accidentally saw his KakaoTalk open on the screen.

Not snooping, I swear. I was just there. But he'd been gaming with his mic on and I think he mentioned me at some point because the chat was... about me.

I dragged and copied the whole chat to my email to save it. The names are blurred but A is my boyfriend. The rest are his friends.

[A] [11:45pm] lmaooo she got so mad

[B] [11:45pm] dump her lmaooo

And it keeps going.

I went home and cried ALL DAY. didn't sleep at all. not even for a second.

The audacity of this man to be venting to his friends about ME while I'm literally right there. while we're having problems HE caused. and his friends are just like "dump her" like I'm nothing.

I genuinely cannot.