did my friends and i try to make our pregnant friend miscarry??? apparently yes

okay so this just happened and I need strangers on the internet to tell me I'm not insane.

four friends planned a new year's get-together. me (B), another friend with a kid (C), one single friend (D), and A, who is pregnant with her second and basically in her last month.

we were already being SUPER accommodating. like, each of us was willing to travel 1 to 4 hours round trip to go to A's neighborhood. because she's almost due. obviously. we're not monsters.

but then A goes, without asking anyone, "my husband will cook for everyone so let's just do it at my place!!"

and we were like. okay. hey. we actually wanted it to just be us girls? we haven't seen each other in a while, your husband is kind of awkward for us, and also B and C had to arrange childcare specifically to get out. we said this nicely.

she goes "lol already bought all the ingredients so my place."

we were a little annoyed at that so we were like fine, let's just not meet up then. and then A reached out later like hey let's reschedule. so we asked if maybe we could meet somewhere in the middle? she said ok!!

THE DAY BEFORE the meetup she texts saying she's too exhausted and can't make it to the midpoint location.

and that's when D snapped. she went off, said look, we were ALREADY coming to your neighborhood, YOU were the one who pushed for your husband to be there, and now we've rearranged everything and you're bailing the night before??

B and C also chimed in like yeah this doesn't feel great.

then the group chat got WEIRD. like mid-argument, the grammar and typing style suddenly changed. completely different from how A writes. all three of us clocked it immediately. her husband was typing for her. (why is your husband fighting your friend battles for you???)

and then A (or husband, who knows at this point) started saying things like "meeting at a midpoint location could hurt my baby" and "if something happens to my child because of MY choice, I can only blame myself, I can't blame you guys" and "you moms especially should UNDERSTAND" and basically framing the three of us as people who were trying to make her miscarry.

we said. that is not what we said. we never told you you HAD to come. we asked IF you could, you said ok, and now you're canceling. that's fine!! but we're not the villains here.

also we apologized for not saying earlier that the husband-at-the-gathering thing bothered us. we genuinely said sorry for that. and she just... kept going. kept saying we were endangering her pregnancy.

D pointed out that's too far, obviously that's not what anyone meant.

didn't matter. A kept pushing the "you're trying to hurt my unborn baby" angle until C finally lost it and swore at her. first time she's ever done that btw.

then A (or husband) replied in a tone that was CLEARLY not A's, said we crossed a line, told us to enjoy our lives, said we'd get dragged online when she asks other people, and LEFT the group chat.

(hilarious footnote: A also swears when she's mad. we know this. we've been friends for years.)

also hilarious footnote: this woman who is "so exhausted and fragile" had her schedule PACKED. in-law events, family events, maternity photoshoots. we each used vacation days, called in favors from family, arranged childcare around HER calendar. so.

then comes the second wave. turns out the apology she gave? was only to D. me and C never got one. when me and C expressed that we were also hurt by the whole thing, A went into "well you guys are moms, you should understand ME more than anyone, how could you not??" mode and just. started in on us.

and apparently the "miscarriage" threat thing? that was her last resort move specifically with D. when other arguments weren't working she just escalated until D said okay that's too far and then THAT'S when A apologized. to D. we all thought it was a group apology. it was not.

we've all decided to cut ties.

A, if you're reading this: we kept every single message. every one. you want to go tell other people? go ahead. receipts are ready. and your husband fighting in a friends group chat?? we've known you for YEARS. we know how you type. did you really think we wouldn't notice?

we didn't want to end things like this. but after watching you two say what you said and then peace out of the group chat?? yeah. we're done. bye.