when you wonder if your friends are actually your friends

you know that feeling when you start questioning if someone is actually your friend or if you're just... the only one who thinks you're close.

like there's this person. you're comfortable around them, you vibe, you hang out. but then your brain goes: wait. do THEY feel the same way? or am i just assuming we're friends and they're just being polite this whole time.

and then you spiral into: okay if i tell them something personal, is that gonna come back to bite me. will they use it against me somehow. will they tell other people.

so you just. don't tell anyone anything. ever.

you sit there holding all your secrets by yourself because you can't fully trust that any of your friends are actually YOUR friends, you know?

ngl i'm so jealous of people who have that one person they can just dump everything on. like fully, without worrying. that kind of friendship where you KNOW they have your back no matter what.

i want that so bad.