friend asked to borrow my $3500 bag for a blind date. I said no. she called me CHEAP.

ok so I used to read these posts and think wow the world is full of weirdos. never thought it would be MY turn. my hands are literally shaking rn so I need outside opinions because apparently I'm the cheap one???

so I have this friend Hana (fake name), known her since college. she's always been a little... eyeing my stuff? but I brushed it off like oh we just have similar taste lol. big mistake.

last year I finally splurged on a designer bag as a gift to myself. leather. high maintenance. my baby.

yesterday evening she calls me out of nowhere. tells me she has a blind date this weekend with a guy she's really into and she doesn't have a bag to bring. and then. AND THEN. she goes:

"Seoyoon-ah, I really wanna make this date work. can I borrow that bag of yours? just one day? you don't have plans this weekend anyway right so you won't even use it."

I genuinely thought I misheard her. a multi-thousand-dollar leather bag. that needs CAREFUL handling. for a blind date. with a stranger.

I said no politely. "sorry Hana, I really cherish this bag so lending it out is kinda hard for me. clothes or other stuff sure but the bag is a no."

and bestie. her reaction. first she's whining like "just this oncee pleaseee" and when I kept saying no her voice literally shifted. like a switch flipped.

"wow you're SO cheap. are we strangers? is lending a bag between friends really that huge of a deal? you don't even carry it every day. what am I gonna do, STEAL it??"

the audacity. I was speechless. she can't afford it herself but somehow I'm the weirdo for saying no? any love I had for this friendship evaporated on the spot.

and I knew. if I folded here I'd be her doormat forever. so I pulled the final card.

"ok Hana, sure, friends help friends. the bag was 5 million won¹ so just wire 5 million to my account as a deposit. if you return it scratch-free I'll send it right back. friends can show each other this much trust right?"

she SCREAMED. "are you insane?? are you obsessed with money??" and hung up. blocked me instantly. KakaoTalk profile gone. poof.

I did not stay quiet. I typed up the whole conversation, screenshotted everything, and dropped it in our college group chat. kindly added the advice that if Hana ever asks to borrow a bag, please collect the deposit first <3

the chat EXPLODED. "is she for real" "you were so right to say no" and Hana got crowned the Bag Beggar Villain of our class in like 20 minutes flat.

can you even call someone a friend if they're trying to exploit you to feed their own vanity? I'm calling this a successful friend-group cleanse.

so. am I actually cheap? or is she unhinged? please be honest.

¹ 5 million won = about $3,500 USD. not a "borrow it for a day" kind of item.