my son is emotionally dead and now he's bringing a girl home

okay so my oldest son. nice way to describe him: reserved. mean way: completely emotionally flat. he's got a younger brother who's actually warm and affectionate, so next to him my oldest just seems like... hardened concrete. like genuinely difficult to deal with.

from childhood, this kid wouldn't tell me ANYTHING. where he's going, where he's been, nothing. I'd ask him days later and THEN he'd give me like a status report. zero initiative to volunteer info. zero. and me asking him first? lmaooo forget about it. he's got this pre-modern man energy. literally reminds me of my father-in-law. doesn't care about anyone, not even himself. something happens to him, something happens to me, family's falling apart? his response is always "that's just how it is" with this shrug. he's not stupid or anything but his ability to just ignore anything that doesn't directly affect him is INSANE. like 1st place level.

so in middle school the school calls ME to say he's being bullied. I'm shocked, ask him about it, and he's like "the class changes next semester anyway" BESTIE. few days ago he apparently did a cameo on this TV show? finds out it's airing soon? tells me "you can see it on TV" like I'm supposed to just know. then he doesn't come home for days. no contact. I'm panicking, filing a missing persons report, searching everywhere... find out he's been hospitalized in a hospital bed the whole time. he didn't even TELL me.

he was always weird about stuff like this though. by kindergarten he already figured out Santa and ghosts aren't real. at FIVE he's making fun of me for believing in goblins when I told him one would snatch him if he kept acting up. this kid thought that was hilarious.

anyway. now this emotionally defunct human tells me he's getting MARRIED and bringing the girl home to meet me. I knew he'd dated before but honestly I figured he kept getting dumped because he's insufferable to be around. nope. turns out he's been with the same girl since he was twenty. steady the whole time. so he CAN get married I guess? like thank god? but also... what is wrong with this girl. why would she do this. he's thirty now and...

(trails off in existential confusion about her life choices)