Fake pregnant lady's memory foam pillow fell out on subway, got DESTROYED

So yesterday on my commute home on line 2 (absolute hell on earth btw), I finally scored an empty seat. But then this woman gets on at the next stop and walks right up to me. Just stands there staring me down and goes "hey, you young people have no manners. don't you see i'm pregnant? move."

Her voice was LOUD. Everyone's staring. But here's the thing... her belly looked weird as hell. Like, unnaturally shaped. And she had no maternity badge or anything.

I was like "oh um... i don't see a badge though?" and this WOMAN SCREAMS at me. "no badge means i'm not pregnant?? are you calling me a LIAR? young people these days are so selfish!" The grandmas around me start giving me the look like i'm the bad guy, so whatever, i stood up.

But when she sits down and puts her bag on her belly, i literally watched it DEFLATE. Like "pshhh" and just caved in.

i couldn't believe what i was seeing. she's sitting there scrolling her phone and the belly keeps MOVING to the side. rotating. that's when i realized. she had a PILLOW stuffed in her shirt.

So i'm standing nearby and when the train lurches, i "accidentally" lose my balance and tap her belly. and IMMEDIATELY a memory foam pillow just DROPS on the floor.

silence. dead silence. everyone's staring at this white pillow rolling around and this woman's completely deflated stomach.

i couldn't resist. i go, loudly, "oh my! congratulations on your natural childbirth! looks like your baby was a memory foam pillow!"

the grandmas gasped. the people who were yelling at me started whispering "what is this?" she turned the color of rotten fish and the SECOND those doors opened, she abandoned the pillow and bolted.

i kicked the pillow onto the platform. sat back down. maternity seats are for ACTUAL pregnant people, not frauds who want a comfortable ride.

if you see a belly that's square-shaped or rotating sideways, you found a fake. stay alert out there.