The ghost that stood by my mom's pillow warned us and we didn't listen

I wasn't going to post this but it's been sitting in my head for years and I need to write it out.

When I was in middle school, my maternal grandfather passed away. He'd had brain surgery and the neurological damage was severe. His death was painful. Really, really painful. So we held the overnight wake at his house.

The relatives slept on the first floor. My parents and I ended up in my grandfather's room on the second floor.

Sometime in the middle of the night I heard the stairs creaking. Slow. Like someone was climbing up.

I opened my eyes.

The door slid open.

And my grandfather, who was dead, walked into the room.

He wandered in circles around where we were sleeping. Just... slowly circling. Then he stopped at my mom's pillow and stood there murmuring something, over and over. And then the stairs creaked again as he went back down.

I lay there completely frozen and didn't say a word.

The next morning my parents brought it up themselves. "Father came to visit last night." Just said it casually like that. And that's when it hit me that it wasn't a dream, and I got genuinely scared.

One year later, my mom collapsed. Brain disease. They operated but she was left with mild dementia from the complications, and later developed liver cirrhosis on top of that. She died. By the end she couldn't even recognize my face.

...

So then we held HER overnight wake at our house. Adults on the first floor, kids on the second. Me and my cousins hadn't seen each other in a while so we stayed up late talking.

Around 3am the adults downstairs suddenly got really loud and chaotic.

I went down to check.

My aunt (my mom's younger sister) was in the middle of telling everyone that my mom's ghost had appeared to her. She'd been sleeping in the small room off the living room, the one my mom used as a clothes closet. She heard footsteps. Woke up. And there was my dead mother, pacing in slow circles around the room.

My aunt dove under the covers and hid her head.

And the footsteps stopped. Right at my aunt's pillow.

And then murmuring. The same murmuring. And then it left.

When I heard that I immediately thought of my grandfather.

I asked my aunt, "do you have any health issues? have you had a checkup recently?"

She completely ignored me. She was too excited, already retelling the ghost story to every relative in the room.

My dad overheard what I asked her. For some reason I can't explain, he scolded me for it later.

Four years after that, my aunt died.

Brain disease. Same as my mom. The surgery itself went fine but after she was discharged she fell into depression. She hanged herself.

I couldn't make it to her overnight wake, just the funeral. But people were already talking, wondering whether my aunt's ghost would appear at her children's pillows.

(my cousins are all still alive. but one of her grandchildren died at four years old from childhood cancer.)

Is this what it means when a dead family member appears at your pillow? A warning of death?

Even now if I bring this up to my dad he gets this dark look on his face and just says "you don't need to worry about anything."

That night when my grandfather stood at my mom's pillow and murmured to her. Was my dad awake? Did he hear it?

I still don't know. I genuinely don't know what any of this means.